4/27/13

i am not sure if we were meant to be , but what i know is that we choose to (can only) be.

we choose each other,and some how we were in the perfect place at the perfect moment

doesn't really matter where or how but we saw each other and we choose to be

right now i feel so lost , i wish to have answers to all my questions but i see that really difficult

i could ask for anything and get it, but what if i don't ask, what if i want to get what i am looking for, by myself.

i have asked way too much… it's time for me stand up and get 

i see many opportunities pass by, and i am really uncertain which one should i grab

and i have realised that is not about choosing, because i could spend a life time deciding what to choose 

thinking what could be the best one 

thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking

and as i think i lose, as i choose is i loose as i think i let go

(so)

as i analyse i think

as i think i lose 

as i lose i have lost

(and) i have lost so much 

time

opportunities

ways 

lifes

i am tired of waiting for the right moment in the right place

i will erase that aiming of mine for the right moment at the right place

who do i think i am(?),

 (well) i am the master of my time

i am the owner of my life

of my time 

of my body

I am great 

i am fucking strong

i am powerful

i am exiting

i am honest

i am Jose Antonio

this is my name

i was given this name 

and this is my name

i don't know who decided to call me pepe

but my name is JOSE ANTONIO

AND THIS IS HOW IT IS

I AM TIRED OF THIS DOBLE IDENTITY

i hate this so called "perfect situations"

perfect situations do not exist, we realise that they were perfect 

when we look (up)back at them.

think about it for a second… (perfection is a past sentence)

remember how uneasy or uncomfortable you were at that so called perfect moment

how doubtful you were, how drunk(?) you were… hoe young, how stud, how anything...

(well)

i was full of so much doubt

but i chooses to believe, i choose to let it go

even thou 

i didn't  follow that knot in my stomach (saying no)

i wasn't comfortable

i didn't like it at that time

i didn't want to be there 

i didn't want to fall in love

i only liked it after it happened (we don't choose to love, we end up loving)

and now i want it back

so guess what, i will not get (it) that way (by wantin and wanting and wanting)

because is not the way i "want it", 

is the way it is.

and the way it will be.

i am not able to literally to decide 

i am only able to perform, to be, to act (and react) ( i can act or react as they say, but isn't a reaction an action just after an other action? so if i react i am actually acting, because all actions are products of other actions, thats why scientists call it "chain reaction" and it all started with one simple action, with one minimal action, so if art questions whats the boundary of art, of minimal art, of conceptual art, of abstract art, of pop art, of ultra realistic art, of art… i can only say that life is art, we are born artists and we will always be artists. the only difference is how we perform our art, of how we show our art, of where we show our art.

Van Gogh is one of the worst examples of what society or culture or academies call art, because he wasn't doing art, he was only living. and that is not what the institutions consider as art.

there is no logic in art, there is no explanation for art, there is no such thing as art or no art. the art is doing or not; when a painter stops painting a paint did he stopped the art, did he took a brake, did he lost the inspiration, did he fall asleep, did he died? we will never know. art is living, doing or not, being alive is art and being death is when the paint is finish.(if you have painted, you'll know that a paint is never finished) my life is my art not yours, if you don't consider your self an artist you should read this again. fuck everyone's opinion. just act, art and live, which is the same thing.

make your living your own, your own art, is yours don't sell it for some shit like money or fame. live for you and your family, live for life, not for anything else, do not let anything rule your life, because nothing can stop you, unless you let it stop you.

love life, 

life is art,

and art is you.

say it and listen to your self! and then say it again. an again an again until it doesn't make sense, and then say it for the very first time.

are you afraid? i am afraid too. 

i am afraid of things i know ad things i don't know

i am afraid of knowing and afraid of not knowing.

being afraid is being exited is being curious, being afraid is breath taking.

be afraid and be conscious of your fraid. yes FRAID. thats my FRAID my new word 

FRAID FRAID FRAID FRAID

i am afraid of everything and of nothing too.

so stop thinking, and begin to train yourself for the best, 

so doesn't matter what is going on (and i mean ANYTHING)  

you will be ready to be 

and remember your are being, every breath is you. when you breath i hear you saying i am being, when your heart beats its saying i am being, when you do or stop doing you are being, so to answer the big old question: to be or not to be? I say YOU ARE BEING AND YOU CANT STOP. When you are "not being" YOU ARE ACTUALLY BEING!! 

THERE IS NO WAS, BECAUSE DOESN'T MATTER WHAT, YOU ARE. AND WHEN YOU DIE, YOU ARE… DEATH BUT STILL YOU ARE, AND YOU WILL BE FOR EVER 

so don't worry if you choose to do nothing, because you are doing the "doing nothing art" and be aware of your choice.

and always choose wisely BE.